


atlas telamon

by brucewaynery



Series: happy steve bingo fills [18]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Steve Bingo, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21636346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brucewaynery/pseuds/brucewaynery
Summary: Where do we go, now that they're gone?How fucking useless.(therapy, happy steve bingo)
Relationships: Steve Rogers & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: happy steve bingo fills [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1495793
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38
Collections: Happy Steve Bingo 2019





	atlas telamon

_Where do we go, now that they’re gone? ___

__It’s so fucking stupid. It’s absurd and ridiculous and everything Steve doesn’t believe in, but has to, because, for whatever fucking goddamn reason, he’s still a symbol of hope, of, of faith and justice, because everything with Thanos can be fixed with some quality sharing time._ _

__It would be, he thinks, ironically. It would have been done and dusted if he’d had some quality sharing time with Tony, years ago. Had he done that, had he given his friend the respect he deserved and told him the truth, they wouldn’t have lost._ _

__Maybe that’s too idealistic - it wouldn’t be particularly out of the ordinary for him - maybe they would’ve lost, but maybe the loss wouldn’t be as bad, maybe the fight wouldn’t be so futile, so, so pointless. But Steve had known from the moment he’d led that charge they would lose._ _

__That’s what happens when they’re not together. They lose, and they lose badly and catastrophically, and people get hurt._ _

__People got hurt, the entire goddamn world, the fucking universe, took a hit because they couldn’t do their jobs, because he hadn’t listened, because he had too much goddamn pride, because he’d been too selfish, too cowardly._ _

__He’s sitting in the hall of a derelict elementary school, listening to the grieving talk and it’s all his fault._ _

__Natasha had said, when this all had started, that he’d have to say a little about himself, but she’d been wrong. All it took was a simple question._ _

__And the thing is, he has to be strong, he has to hold up the whole damn city and he does, because that’s his penance, he’s Atlas condemned by Zeus. (It doesn’t pass him that, technically, Zeus is Thor, but he’s on their side and he’s suffering too)._ _

__He holds and holds and endures and even after they’ve killed the bastard and Tony’s not dead, he still… he stays still, holding up a healing world._ _

__-_ _

__One night, after group (Sam would be so fucking proud of him, Sam would pull him into a hug, and offer to go get takeout and watch a game, or play a game, and tell him that he was doing the right thing, and Sam would also tell him to do something that made him happy, but he’s not too sure he deserves that, and Sam isn’t there to tell him that he does), Steve gets a text on a phone that never leaves his nightstand._ _

___Central Park. You know where._ _ _

__There’s no time, but he supposes that he was just meant to know. (He does, the same way he knows where to be, and a part of him misses Tony’s antics and dramatics so goddamn much it hurts.)_ _

__-_ _

__“Hey.”_ _

__“I heard you’re playing Oprah these days,” Tony says in greeting, rightening himself. He’d been leaning against the tree where they’d once scrawled their initials on, in the middle of the night. The kid with the camera maybe ten feet over isn’t as subtle as she thinks she is._ _

__“People need help,” Steve says, shrugging, every single muscle carefully controlled, exactly the way Tony is. He looks relaxed, but Steve knows the difference between his falsely comfortable and genuinely calm._ _

__Fuck, at this point, he doesn’t even know if he deserves to miss the way they used to be._ _

__“What about you?”_ _

__Steve’s hanging on by a single, fraying, gossamer thread._ _

__“What’s this about, Tony.”_ _

__Tony gives him a certain look that Steve can’t decode, “Can’t I check up on an ex-teammate.”_ _

__That stings, admittedly, not the ex part, more that Tony would relegate their relationship to simply teammates._ _

__“When you’ve made your opinions on this ex-teammate abundantly clear? It’s a little strange, Tony, I can’t lie.”_ _

__Tony raises his eyebrow, “Oh, you can’t lie, can you, Rogers?”_ _

__“Do you want to take this somewhere private?”_ _

__Tony glares at him, then walks over to his car, looking over his shoulder in a nonchalant, ‘come if you care’, invite. Steve follows._ _

__“You know,” Steve starts, when the car door is shut, and the windows have their reflectivity on, “all this isn’t good for the public.”_ _

__“Would you rather the public knew that the grieving Avengers are fucking each other on the side?” It meant to come out joking, but it falls just shy of that, exposing some truth._ _

__“Tony.”_ _

__“Sorry.”_ _

__“No, Tony, I’m… I’m sorry--”_ _

__“You’ve said,” Tony says, tersely._ _

__“Tony. The world--”_ _

__“This is your goddamn problem, you know that?” Tony snaps, like gossamer, stretched a centimetre, “You don’t give two shits about yourself, you care far too fucking much of this penance you’ve made up in your head. You feel guilty, we all do, we’re all doing shit to try do something, and I’m trying to keep some of myself along the way. I don’t know about you though,” he finishes quietly, staring at the steering wheel._ _

__“Tony, I’m trying my best--”_ _

__“Then why is it always me who has to call you?”_ _

__Silver strands, fluttering to the ground, hundreds of them, like someone took a cleaver to a spider’s web._ _

__“Because you yell at me half the time! Because all the goddamn time I have no idea what I’m doing, or where I stand, or what to do, and I’m a leader, I’m not… I shouldn’t… I should go,” Steve trails off, going to open the door, but Tony beats him to it, clicking on the child lock._ _

__“Captain America doesn’t run away.”_ _

__“Captain America is technically an outlaw in most countries.”_ _

__“Steve.”_ _

__Steve gives him a small smile, despite himself, “Yes?”_ _

__“We need some fucking happiness.”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> comments and [reblogs](https://talesofsuspenses.tumblr.com/post/189417306706/atlas-telamon) are greatly appreciated!


End file.
